i just want to

malam ini.. sudah berhasil cerita tentang apa yang sudah terjadi seminggu lalu.. cerita konyol yang seharusnya sudah kuhapus dari kamus kehidupan ku.. ^^

cumak bisa senyum senyum geli nginget cerita kejadian itu..

tapi malam ini juga.. aq menemukan sebentuk perasaan 

dilema (lagi)

ya Rabb.. apa ini..

selalu seperti ini

apa ini ujian untuk hambamu di setiap hambamu ini menginginkan sesuatu

ya Rabb.. menyakitkann

sesak sekali rasanya dada ini

ingin ku berteriak (entah ini keinginan yang keberapa kali)

ya Rabb.. 

miris

ingin (menangis) lepas dari perasaan ini

tapi tidak

sebab aku telah berjanji

there won't be tears (again)

 PERASAAN INILAH..

PERASAAN YANG TELAH MEMBUATKU

TERUS DIHANTUI KETAKUTAN

MENGECAM DI SETIAP NAFAS KU !!

MENCABIK CABIK

ya Rabb.. hambamu ini munafik

aq tau.. ini adalah takdir setiap manusia

untuk memiliki perasaan itu

itu anugrah Mu ya Rabb..

namun aq begitu takut ya Rabb

ya Rabb.. bimbing aku

untuk bisa bersahabat dengan nya

agar aku bisa

menjadi seperti apa yang ia mau

agar aku bisa

melihat senyumnya kelak di kemudian hari

ya Rabb.. ini semua semata mata karena Mu

karena aq ingin bersyukur 

atas anugrahMu yang maha indah ini.. ^_^

.and this night.. i just want to sing,, singing a beautifull song

i hope... by singing this song, it would reduce my pain.. ^_^

..........................................

If you're not the one, then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one, then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine, then why does your heart return my call?
If you you are not mine, would I have the strength to stand at all?

I never know what the future brings
But I know you're here with me now
We'll make it through and I hope
You are the one I share my life with

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you, then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there anyway that I can stay in your arms?

If I don't need you, then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you, then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me, then why does this distance name my life?
If you're not for me, then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through and I hope
You are the one I share my life with

And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray that you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you, then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there anyway that I can stay in your arms?

'Cause I miss your body and soul so strong
That it takes my breath away
And I breath you into my heart
And I pray for the strength to stand today

'Cause I love you whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
And though my heart is by your side

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you, then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there anyway that I can stay in your arms?

.................................... daniel beddingfield ..............